Psychology Takeaway Podcast

In this chilling but eye-opening episode, Ralph and Jim explore one of psychology’s most disturbing questions: What makes ordinary people do evil things?

From war crimes and systemic abuse to everyday cruelty and moral disengagement, they unpack the psychological processes and social conditions that allow evil to emerge—not just in history books, but in our own workplaces, communities, and personal lives.

Are monsters born—or made?

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 Key Topics Covered

• What is “evil” from a psychological standpoint?
  A look at how psychology defines and reframes "evil" behavior in scientific terms.
• The Banality of Evil – Hannah Arendt’s controversial insight into how bureaucratic obedience enables atrocity.
• Stanley Milgram’s Obedience Experiments
  Why ordinary people followed orders to deliver (seemingly) lethal shocks.
• The Stanford Prison Experiment – Philip Zimbardo
  How social roles and situational power corrupted participants in just days.
• The Lucifer Effect
  Zimbardo's deep dive into how systems and environments can turn good people evil.
• Dehumanization & Moral Disengagement – Albert Bandura
  How we silence our moral alarms through rationalization and groupthink.
• The Role of Systems: Bad Apples vs. Bad Barrels
  Understanding how toxic environments and authority structures shape behavior.
• Why Some People Resist
  A hopeful discussion about empathy, moral courage, and the psychology of standing up to evil.

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Notable Quotes

"Evil is not always loud and monstrous—it can be quiet, bureaucratic, and disturbingly ordinary."
— Ralph

"One of the most dangerous phrases in history might be: ‘I was just following orders.’"
— Jim

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• LEARNEMORE
• The Lucifer Effect – Philip Zimbardo
• Obedience to Authority – Stanley Milgram
• Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil – Hannah Arendt
• Moral Disengagement – Albert Bandura
• Ordinary Men – Christopher Browning
• Two reports came out today. One from the UN and the other from HHS (Make America Healthy Again).
  https://www.npr.org/2025/09/10/nx-s1-5535535/nutrition-professor-discusses-administrations-strategy-to-improve-childrens-health

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THINK ABOUT THIS

• Have you ever gone along with something you felt was wrong, just to conform?
• What systems in your environment reward silence or punish moral courage?
• How can we strengthen empathy and individual responsibility in the face of group pressure?

Why do we sometimes derail our own progress just as things are going well? In this week’s episode, Ralph takes the lead in unpacking the psychology of self-sabotage, while Jim—licensed psychologist and professor emeritus—joins with insight, experience, and his signature dry wit. From procrastination and perfectionism to fear of success and deep-rooted impostor syndrome, the duo explores how self-sabotage shows up in everyday life—and why it’s more about protection than failure.

Drawing on clinical experience, lived stories, and some honest reflections, Ralph and Jim walk through the unconscious mechanisms that lead people to hold themselves back. They explore how childhood conditioning, low self-worth, and even past trauma can shape behaviors that seem illogical but are actually very human.

If you've ever said, “Why do I keep doing this to myself?”—this one’s for you. You’ll come away with tools for recognizing sabotage patterns, reframing your inner dialogue, and gently steering your life back on course. No shame, no fluff—just grounded psychology and thoughtful conversation.

LEARN MORE

Ted talk How to Limit Self-sabotage: https://www.ted.com/talks/azreail_essick_how_to_limit_self_sabotage?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

If Perfectionism is your problem, check out this book from the Overcoming series: Overcoming Perfectionism. Read a sample at: https://a.co/d/2gmVbuL

In this follow-up episode, we welcome back Fr. Matt Gembroski, the young and insightful Catholic priest serving students at St. Mary’s Parish on the campus of Central Michigan University. After a strong listener response to our conversation on spiritual health, Fr. Matt returns to unpack a topic that resonates deeply with both young adults and those navigating relationships of all kinds: fear of intimacy. Together, we explore how fear of emotional closeness often masks deeper struggles with vulnerability, shame, past wounds, or spiritual disconnection—and how intimacy is ultimately a path not just to others, but to God, healing, and one’s true self.

We also explore how attachment styles, trauma, and even spiritual beliefs shape our willingness (or resistance) to let others see the real us. Fr. Matt brings a compassionate pastoral lens to the conversation, helping listeners understand how healing often involves allowing ourselves to be seen—flaws and all. Whether you're someone who pulls away when things get deep, or who clings out of fear of being abandoned, this episode offers practical wisdom, honest reflection, and spiritual encouragement to begin reclaiming intimacy in a healthy and holy way.

THOUGHTS TO PONDER

We are never so vulnerable as when we love.” — Sigmund Freud

“Spiritual awakening is not about escaping from life but about learning to meet it wholeheartedly.” — Pema Chödrön

“People who are afraid of intimacy often long for it the most.” — Unknown

“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.” — Eckhart Tolle

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” — Rumi

You can read a sample of Ralph’s bookon raising curious kids: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FMG1GVYL

We talk about mental health or emotional health all the time. But what about Spiritual Health?

Today Ralph, Jim and Father Matt Gembrowski tackle this important question.

When someone’s spiritual health is poor, it can affect many aspects of their life — emotionally, mentally, and even physically. Although spiritual health is less visible than a physical injury or illness, its impact can be just as deep and disruptive.

One of the most common signs of poor spiritual health is a lack of meaning or purpose. A person may feel lost, aimless, or directionless. Questions like “What’s the point?” or “Why am I here?” can feel overwhelming and unanswerable. Even when life appears successful on the outside, there may be an inner sense of emptiness.

Increased anxiety, stress, or depression often follow. Without a spiritual anchor — such as personal beliefs, grounding values, or reflective practices — stress can feel chaotic and harder to manage. Existential worries or fear of death may intensify, and some individuals may experience hopelessness or emotional numbness.

So, what can be done about this? Watch or listen for solid concrete suggestions!

LEARN MORE 

YouTube :” What Is Spiritual Health”: https://youtu.be/IWqtXaWzvM?si=luaznGMAip6WeMKZ

An upbeat video on spirituality and mental health: https://youtu.be/jHQywnIHTjI?si=ZjoH3tiy6adla_6r

Our new book Raise Curious Kids is out on Amazon. Check out a sample: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FMS2L4L3

So… you’ve hit that point. You’ve had enough. The “I’m fine” mask is slipping, and suddenly the idea of talking to someone who isn’t your dog or your group chat sounds kind of appealing. But where do you even start?

In this follow-up to last week’s episode (“Why Don’t People Just Go Into Therapy?”), Jim and Ralph get real—and a little ridiculous—about what actually happens when you do decide to get help. They break down the basics of finding a therapist, what kinds of support exist (hint: it’s not just lying on a couch), how to deal with roadblocks like cost or fear, and what to do if the first therapist isn’t a good fit.

Plus: therapy myths busted, what to say in that awkward first message, and why your mental health deserves more than duct tape and denial.

In this episode:

• The moment you realize it’s time for help
• How to find a therapist (without losing your mind)
• What if you don’t “click” with them?
• Free and low-cost options for therapy and support
• Why therapy isn’t the only path—and what else might help

Whether you’re ready to book a session or still hovering over the “contact” button, this one’s for you.

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Resources Mentioned:

• PsychologyToday.com
• TherapyDen.com
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
• Local community mental health centers
• University counseling programs and clinics

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💬 Got a question, a topic suggestion, or a therapy horror story?
Email us at carro1jl@cmich.edu

LEARN MORE:

 

This Ted Talk by Martin Seligman might calm your anxiety about therapy: https://youtu.be/9FBxfd7DL3E?si=R8F3eRYZvUfSG7A4

 

How to find a good therapist: https://youtu.be/j-GinhKL1-k?si=daUdnzbD6ewP0ogU

 

The book Reality Therapy might help you help a child or adolescent overcome social or emotional problems: https://a.co/d/024sCDh

 

In this episode of Psychologytakeaway, Jim and Ralph—two actual psychologists, not just guys with microphones—dig into the surprising and often frustrating reasons why so many people avoid or delay getting therapy. From the weight of stigma to the myth that “it’s not that bad,” they explore the internal and social barriers that keep people from seeking help—even when they need it most. Expect real talk, a few laughs, and zero judgment as they unpack the psychology behind not going to a psychologist. Part one of a two-part series

LEARN MORE

The Enigma of Stigma: Redefining The Way We Talk About Mental Health: https://www.ted.com/talks/sophie_riegel_the_enigma_of_stigma_redefining_the_way_we_talk_about_mental_health?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

Mental illness can be tough to talk about, and yet, if we are going to reduce the stigma, we need to encourage honest, open dialogue. This talk shares the ways in which we may unconsciously perpetuate stigma and offers language that inspires safe and supportive conversation.

There's no shame in taking care of your mental health: https://www.ted.com/talks/sangu_delle_there_s_no_shame_in_taking_care_of_your_mental_health?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

When stress got to be too much for TED Fellow Sangu Delle, he had to confront his own deep prejudice: that men shouldn't take care of their mental health. In a personal talk, Delle shares how he learned to handle anxiety in a society that's uncomfortable with emotions. As he says: "Being honest about how we feel doesn't make us weak -- it makes us human."

You might find the book by Jerry Fuller and Jim on Reality Therapy helpful: you can read a sample at : https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F3LB14VH

 

 

 

 

This episode follows up on something we sort of stumbled on last week – helicopter parenting. Jim and Ralph discuss what it is and some of the long term negative consequences.

They continue with tips on parenting a curious kid.

If you want an ecopy of their soon-to-be-released book on the subject, take a look below at LEARN MORE.

LEARN MORE

If you're looking for active, well-regarded educational YouTube channels for curious kids, here are some widely recommended options:

• SciShow Kids: Fun science videos made for elementary schoolers. Aim to spark curiosity and understanding. educationnext.in+1reddit.com+1
• Crash Course Kids: Explains topics like ecosystems, engineering, and space in short, engaging episodes. tempo.txgifted.org+1
• TED‑Ed: Stylishly animated, bite‑sized lessons on questions like “How do jellyfish glow?” tailored for wide age ranges. trendsalife.comtempo.txgifted.org
• PBS Kids / National Geographic Kids: Age‑appropriate videos about animals, places https://pbskids.org/videos

Contact Jim for a free pre-publication copy of Raise Curious Kids: carro1jl@cmich.edu

Curiosity isn’t just adorable—it’s a powerful force in a child’s growth.

Today Jim and Ralph move from Capable Kids to Curious Kids.

 When children are encouraged to explore, ask questions, and follow their interests, it stimulates more than just their imaginations.

 Research indicates that curious children tend to do better in school, with stronger skills in reading, math, and memory—even when factors like attention span or socioeconomic background are considered.

But the benefits extend far beyond academics. Curiosity enhances the brain’s ability to solve problems creatively, think critically, and remember information more effectively. It prepares children to be adaptable thinkers who aren’t afraid to experiment, make mistakes, and try again.

So let’s help our kids stay curious!

LEARN MORE

Here is a link to You Tubes Curious Kids: https://youtu.be/U4QbjPygpt0?si=BXq9w01SVTXk8iQ3

Jim’s book Oak Island Obsession is now out on Amazon. You can read a sample at: https://a.co/d/a5tduAm

Last week Jim and Ralph looked at how parents can help their children to be focused, able to take another’s perspective and communicate effectively. In this episode they look at problem-solving, critical thinking and self-directed learning. Ralph, as always, has a slightly off beat perspective!

 

LEARN MORE

Inside Out 2 Trailer: https://youtu.be/LEjhY15eCx0?si=AYAXf9JGBlt1VOIS

Here is an article on the effects of social media on teens and children: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/social-media-and-mental-health-in-children-and-teens

How to talk to your kids so they will listen: https://www.aswegrowcounseling.com/20-ways-to-talk-so-your-children-will-listen

Sample Jim’s book “Raise Capable Kids”: https://a.co/d/eZ9IyD9

This week on Psychology Takeaway, Jim and Ralph respond to audience concerns about raising children in today’s world. Ralph shares his growing unease about the direction of modern childhood and education, comparing today’s youth to what Gertrude Stein famously described as “The Lost Generation” a century ago.

This sparks a thought-provoking discussion about what young people truly need to thrive in the 21st century. It's not just the traditional "three Rs"—reading, writing, and arithmetic—nor is it merely digital skills like gaming or content creation.

They explore the realities facing Generation Z (born mid-1990s to early 2010s), who grew up with the internet, and Generation Alpha (born from the early 2010s onward), the first generation entirely born in the 21st century. Gen Alpha has been uniquely shaped by advanced technology, rapid change, and formative experiences like the COVID-19 pandemic.

Jim and Ralph dive into these generational shifts, voicing concerns and offering practical advice for raising capable, resilient kids in a digital age. Tune in!

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LEARN MORE

• The destruction of Generation Alpha: https://youtu.be/wKmj5p2XmBo?si=aTan9fvkr_J_GSps
• The Hobart Shakespeareans (as mentioned in the episode): https://youtu.be/n1EGzKtR9DE?si=yevTd5g_SRB2VfMc
• Sample Jim’s book “Raise Capable Kids”: https://a.co/d/eZ9IyD9